But there is one shining beacon of hope that can get you through this miserable month: planning your 2018 summer festivals. So while you’re dreaming of supping cans in the park and seeing the sun again (that thing in the sky, you remember it), check out our ultimate festival guide for all the unique events you should be hitting this year.
POSITIVUS FESTIVAL, LATVIA, 20-22 JULY
It’s not just electronic festivals that get events by the beach. Oh no, you can still enjoy the sound of guitars by the beach at Positivus Festival, who have recruited Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds this year to play their melancholic rock by the Baltic Sea, which you access by walking through a forest full of hammocks. Another plus point: pints are bare cheap.
SECRET SOLSTICE, ICELAND, 21-24 JUNE
A festival where the sun never sets. No, this isn’t witchcraft, it’s the summer solstice, which means 4 days of non-stop light while you get off your bonce at glacier raves, midnight sun boat parties and secret lagoon blowouts, all surrounded by the breath taking Icelandic scenery. Better start shopping for sleep masks now…or stock up on caffeine pills and energy drinks, your choice/bowels.
EXIT FESTIVAL, SERBIA, 12-15 JULY
Serbia may not conjure up images of partying, but this festival located by the River Danube is a massive game changer. Starting off as a student protest in the year 2000 for political change, the festival has continued to support various humanitarian missions and community projects, while throwing one hell of a party. Perfect for hedonistic Corbyn supporters.
SNOWBOMBING FESTIVAL, AUSTRIA, 9-14 APRIL
Ever been to a festival and thought, “wish it was snowing”? Same, which is why Snowbombing has combined the best in music with luxury alpine skiing, with brilliant added extras such as chairlift speed-dating, soothing spas, igloo raves and more. And with a lineup featuring Liam Gallagher AND Craig David, there’s something for everyone’s tastes.
SLAM DUNK FESTIVAL, BIRMINGHAM/LEEDS/HATFIELD, 26TH-28TH MAY
Good Charlotte, Jimmy Eat World, Taking Back Sunday. If you feel too old to go down to your local skate park but want a healthy dose of nostalgia dating back to the good ol’ early 2000s, this alternative festival set over May Bank Holiday weekend is right up your street. And with it only being a one-dayer, you won’t have the fear of some kids jumping on your tent at 3am.
ALL POINTS EAST, LONDON, 25TH-27TH MAY, 1ST-3RD JUNE
Another non-camping festival for all those germophobes and people with a general distain of spending time around other people for too long. This new event fills the hole Field Day left in this east end and is kicking off with a stellar lineup that includes LCD Soundsystem, The XX, Bjork, Nick Cave, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and lots more cult acts.
SEA DANCE FESTIVAL, MONTENEGRO, DATE TBC
Skyscanner has recently voted Montenegro as the number 1 cheapest holiday destination in the world, so if you’re sick of taking out a mortgage to buy a round of pints at mainstream UK festivals, this may be the destination for a perfect summer. Set on an unbelievably enticing beach in Budva, this predominantly EDM event has won best medium festival and is one of Europe’s hottest locations. And if that wasn’t enough Casino Royale was also shot nearby, so you can retrace Bond’s footsteps as you sweat yourself into severe dehydration wandering around in a tuxedo.