The Stereotypes You’ll Find At All Christmas Parties
As your Christmas do gets closer, it’s the perfect time to familiarise yourself with the stereotypes that make every Christmas party somewhat interesting; whether The Player is out in full swing hitting on the hard-to-get hot girl, or The Gossipmonger is luring people into a quiet corner to unleash their treasure chest of secrets, you’re sure to see some typical Christmas party stereotypes that make an appearance, year after year.
The Party Animal
The Party Animal lives for the weekend and never misses a night out. You’ll often see him in the mornings with a coffee in hand and a pounding head from the mayhem of ‘that drink’ the night before. He’s been looking forward to the Christmas party since last year’s. He struts into the party venue and heads straight to the dancefloor, dragging sober and unwilling people up with him to dance awkwardly to ‘Moves Like Jagger’.
Jekyll & Hyde
The Jekyll & Hyde is a quiet character who spends their days mostly avoiding eye contact with every person they pass so they don’t have to engage in small talk. ‘How was your weekend?’ is a question that makes their palms sweaty. But once in a festive and slightly intoxicated mood, the accusations start flying and you’ll be subjected to a few home-truths about yourself and your life choices. The more they drink, the more outrageous their behaviour becomes. You’ll be the one avoiding eye contact with them for the rest of the night. Horror and panic engulfs them in the morning, and they’re too embarrassed to face any of the party goers ever again. They start making plans to move city.
Ahh, the Party Virgin. They’re amazed that free bars exist and they’re sure to take advantage of it! Their first trip to the bar involves 2 double whiskey and cokes and 4 Sambucas, which they polish off in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden, they’re best friends with the girl they awkwardly ignore every day, and you later hear them at the bar ordering a bottle of Prosecco to celebrate their new-found friendship. Midnight strikes and they’re being carried into a taxi by the angry toilet attendant and their new friend, tie-less and phone-less.
The David Blaine
The David Blaine has perfected the art of the Vanishing Act. He has people searching high and low for him at every party he goes to, and this year’s Christmas party is no different. ‘Back in one second’ is his famous line. He’ll never reappear to continue that in-depth conversation he was having with you, and leaves you all alone watching his drink, that will inevitably end up getting finished off by Party Virgin. People will come up to you asking where he’s gone but you don’t know. Nobody knows.
You’ll find “That Guy” at every Christmas party, and you’ll avoid him at any cost. You don’t want to be associated with his outlandish antics. He can be seen making a fool out of himself on the karaoke, pulling out his best bar-top moves and copping off with his mate’s ex-girlfriend. He’ll rope you into a cringey conversation and force you to listen to his bad jokes which. He’s done everything that everybody vowed not to do – he’s become “That Guy”.
Tonight is the night to get all those secrets off their chest. They’re the one to watch out for; they’ll hunt you down and taint you with their sinful gossiping. Before you know it, you’ll know that girl Sarah’s bra size and the name of Pete’s ex-girlfriend’s new fiancé. They’ve got gossip and they ain’t afraid to tell it! You’ll see them in the corner with an empty champagne flute, eyes glaring, talking to Kate with the big hair, probably about you.
There’s always one sober guy. You wish you’d taken a leaf out of this guy’s book when you wake up the morning after the Christmas party. He always carries a camera with him and you’ll see him smugly taking snaps of “That Guy” and The Party Animal so he can embarrass them when they think the Christmas party mayhem is behind them. He’ll spend the evening ringing taxis for drunk and incoherent people and ordering copious amount of water from the bar to sober up Party Virgin. He’ll never let his hair down and never drink in front of so many people. Oh no, he will never be “That Guy”..
You can place your money on The Player sparking up drunken romance with every one of your female friends at the Christmas party. He may have a bit of a reputation, or his womanising ways may surprise you, but he’ll be there with mistletoe in hand, reeling off the cheesiest of chat up lines and requesting the slow jams to get the ladies in the mood for love. One minute he’s exchanging numbers with Sarah, and the next he’s jumping in a taxi home with Lisa. He’s one smooth guy…or so he thinks.