While our great-grandfathers might have been quite happy flossing their teeth with bike chains and dry-shaving with meat cleavers, in between bouts of bare-knuckle boxing in blood-stained vests – we millennials aren’t quite such a hardy bunch. But why should we be when there are so many options available to us, for ensuring we stay in decent nick for as long as possible? We’re not just talking moisturisers and moustache combs either, because now, my friends, we are well and truly living in the future.
Ask yourself – would the main protagonist in a futuristic Ridley Scott movie wash his face with a simple face cloth? Would he bollocks – he would have some mad cool gadget with flashing lights on that did it for him.
With that thought firmly in mind, let’s check out some of the coolest men’s grooming tech available today.
Philips Vacuum Beard Trimmer
If your significant other is anything like mine, he or she is one bathroom sink covered in stubble away from packing up and moving out. So, looking at it that way, this is more than just a neat beard trimmer, it’s a tool that has the potential to save your relationship. This little beauty comes with a built in vacuum, which means an end to all those stray bits of stubble that somehow seem to end up everywhere! What more could you want from a shaver?
No!No! Pro Hair Remover 5
Dragging a series of razor sharp blades across the surface of your skin every day not quite a terrifying enough concept for you? Well technology has the answer and it comes in the form of a neat little box that basically burns all of the hair out of its roots. The No!No! Pro 5 – which is possibly named after what its first tester screamed when the creators turned it on and started waving it in his face – uses “Thermicon technology”, which first of all, sounds really cool, but second of all, pushes a pulse of energy into the root of each hair to completely destroy it. Pretty amazing stuff, just keep in away from your sack and nipples – their words, not ours!
Foreo Luna 2 Face Brush
Thought your skincare regime was on point? Think again, mate. This vibrating cleansing brush from Foreo pulses against the skin on your face to stimulate circulation, leaving you looking refreshed, revitalised and with a face that’s infinitely easier to shave close. We’d recommend popping it in the cabinet when you have mates over who might use your bathroom, though, as it might be a bit difficult to explain what it is without coming across like some sort of floundering sexual deviant who has been caught out and is desperately trying cover up his illicit hobbies. “It’s for my face, honestly it is!” Yeah right, mate. Whatever you say.
Waterpik® Ultra Professional Water Flosser
Love going to the dentist and always wanted to recreate the fun of a visit in the comfort of your own home? Nope, neither have I, nor has any sane human being in the history of everything, ever. However, the good folk over at Waterpik weren’t going to let a little detail like that stop them from bringing one of the dentist’s favourite tools to the mass market anyway. To be fair though, whether you like it or not, you do need to floss, and what better way to do it than just like the pros?
Simplehuman Sensor Mirror
Ever tried having a shave in the dark, with no mirror? Well, it ain’t easy. Enter the Simplehuman Sensor Mirror. This high tech grooming companion mimics natural sunlight, has some pretty intense magnification and comes with a curved face so that you can see every gruesome detail of your face up close and in HD, just like you’ve always wanted to. You might get a shock when you first have a look, but at least now you’ll be able to do something about it.